Jerry Taylor

Spring is almost upon us. Soon we shall be gorging on Easter eggs like a dug eating peanut butter, and piling into beer gardens even though it’s still Baltic. And boy, is that music to my ears as I type this wearing fifteen layers of clothes, eight pairs of pants and three sets of fingerless gloves.

What a season this has been, eh? Game of Thrones has nothing on the winter we just endured. Some of you will say that analogy was dramatic as GOT had dragons. But in my defence, we had Liz Truss for a month.

Okay, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but it was a tough winter for many of us for lots of different reasons. It was that cold at one point, my cat ended up giving birth to a litter of mittens. Some people even say that temperatures had dropped so low, local politicians were seen with their hands in their own pockets!

I’m just hoping that my Granny Lelo’s old saying comes into fruition this year. She used to say in her half-Scots half-German accent: “If winter goes out like a lion, then spring will come in like a lamb”. I think that’s what she said, but my English slash German wasn’t on point at that young age, so I may be paraphrasing slightly.

Granny Lelo is also in my earliest and fondest memories of Eastertime. I remember painting boiled eggs at her house and then going to Boydfield Gardens in Prestwick to roll them down the big hill with my cousins. I’m almost heating up just at the thought of standing on that hill in the warm breeze, egg in hand and knowing fine well that I wasn’t going to roll my egg. I was going to launch it at the climbing frame.

Spring just brings a wee bit of happiness, doesn’t it troops? That wee glimmer of sunshine and hope that tells your soul to start preparing to come out of hibernation.

CUE TRAINSPOTTING CLOSING MONOLOGUE MUSIC

The thought of camping trips on the near horizon.

A chance to choose your own destination without the permission of the weather.

Choose farm parks and castle grounds visits.

Choose long walks in the country with the dugs, and the family of course.

Choose the risk of hauling the inflatable hot tub out the hut before anyone else on Facebook says it’s ok to do so.

Choose a beverage on the back step with the one you love, as you watch the sunset together for the first time in what feels like an eternity.

Choose knowing, that in just a few weeks, you’ll have all of these choices, and more.

CUT MUSIC

I’ve just decided, right here and now, that spring is my favourite season. Funny enough, spring onion is also my favourite flavour of crisps, but I don’t think the two are related.

every single one of you for keeping your spirits high while the temperatures were low. Go enjoy that good weather when it comes, and I hope this new season puts a little ray of sunshine in your lives.

Jeezy peeps man, that was soppy even for me. I nearly gave myself the boak there. I cannae finish on that. Here’s a few jokes to put a wee SPRING in your step before you go.

All the best Ayrshire!

What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?

A candy baa.

A lamb, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff.

Baa, Dum, Ssss.

Where did the Easter bunnies go after they got married?On their bunnymoon. (Ok, I’ll apologise for that one).

This last joke has nothing to do with spring, I just heard it the other day and needed to tell it!
What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?

They’re both purple, except for the rabbit.