Jerry Taylor

With everyone yelling and kids doing your head in, it gives me the fear… for it’s the most wonderful time of the year!
There you are, a wee festive jingle to get you all in the mood!
I can’t believe I’m sat at the laptop writing yet another Christmas special for Ayrshire magazine. It feels like only yesterday I was running late for my deadline for the last one!
The shops are already dripping with tinsel and stocked to the max with tins of biscuits, and you can feel that Christmas feeling is in the ice-cold air. As always, I’m praying for a white Christmas for all the kids out there. How good would it be to be able to build a snowman with your kids/grandkids on Christmas Day. I think that would be magical. I had a bit of a traumatic experience the other day when I accidentally stumbled across a Snowman graveyard. Luckily it turned out to be a field of carrots. Apparently, snowmen don’t like carrots because they taste like bogies. But let’s pray we get some snow to give Ayrshire the perfect Christmas backdrop this year. And if you want my best tip on how to make the perfect snowman, all you have to do is freeze a jolly good fellow.
I’m stumped as to what to buy my 14-year-old son this year. Whenever I ask what he wants he just says, “I don’t mind”. Let’s see if he’s still saying that when he opens his brand-new air fryer with matching slow cooker. My mum was easy to buy for this year, thankfully. She told me she would like nothing more than a nice perfume. So, I got her nothing. I wanted to buy some nice gifts for Rudolph and Blitzen, but they were two deer. My son is also now too old for an advent calendar and to be honest I think advent calendars are dying out. In short, their days are numbered.
The magic of Christmas can really help people through some tough times, but it can also have the reverse effect on people at this time of year. So, I’d like to get serious for a minute and say that if you’re struggling with mental health, addiction or loss, then please know you are not alone. Reach out to friends and family if you can. I for one understand how hard it can be living alone and seeing all the families so happy in their matching jammies. But I promise you, times will get better, and this too shall pass.
Right that’s the serious and important message out of the way, so let’s finish with some festive humour.
I was going to spend Christmas day with my two friends who are very good at chess. But then I thought, there’s nothing worse than chess nuts boasting round an open fire. So, instead I’m going to spend the day alone with my favourite films and a big pizza. I like to order the Good King Wenceslas pizza – it’s cooked deep and crisp and even. But if the takeaway shop isn’t open I’ll just settle for the Mylie Cyrus meal, Twerky.
Okay… I’ll stop now.
No matter what you’re doing this Christmas, if you’re spending it alone or with family, I sincerely wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year when it comes. And remember, Christmas is about love and bringing families together. So check on your loved ones, you never know who’s struggling out there.
All the best Ayrshire, I’ll see you all in 2024!
Jerry Taylor.