Galentine’s Day
Celebrating the Power of Female Friendships
Catherine Lawson
As women, there is much to celebrate about the female friendships which light up our lives; the friendships which see us through the best and the worst of times and which often outlive our romantic encounters. It seems fitting that there’s a day in the year, on the eve of Valentine’s Day, devoted to embracing all that is good about those treasured female friends with whom we have a love affair of a different kind.
Although a relatively modern phenomenon, Galentine’s Day (celebrated on 13th February since its debut on the TV hit show Parks and Recreation back in 2010) already feels like a long-established tradition. It’s quite believable that it’s always been there, standing side by side with Valentine’s Day, since the 3rd century when the latter took hold. After all, women have been supporting women in friendships that are as enduring as they are essential since the beginning of time – Galentine’s Day is simply the modern expression of that timeless connection.
So what is it that makes the friendships between women worth celebrating?
In her book Becoming, Michelle Obama said, “Friendships between women, as any woman will tell you, are built of a thousand small kindnesses… swapped back and forth and over again.”
And in those words lies a quiet truth that women everywhere will understand; it’s in the consistent acts of friendship – the ‘thousand small kindnesses’ over time – that unbreakable bonds are nurtured. Those kindnesses which are central to the way we show up for each other may take different forms – checking in, remembering important dates, celebrating wins, listening to the same worries for the hundredth time – but they are all built on a deep emotional intimacy which is different from any other kind of friendship.
It’s not just the numerous shared experiences which lie at the heart of such intimacies (though, make no mistake those can be powerful connections), it’s the subtle bonds too. How many times have you been in the company of female friends and recognised an emotional attunement which needs no words or explanation? You know the feeling – that intuitive understanding which can soothe, support or inspire us with a simple look or a smile. There’s a silent solidarity too – an unspoken understanding that we’re fighting the same battles even if we’re not talking about them. And when we do talk about them, those are the conversations which take flight, allowing us to freely express our full spectrum of emotions without fear of judgement. Being able to share our vulnerabilities in a safe space is one of the greatest gifts we give each other as women.
And of course, it’s often our female friends who lift us up and celebrate us in all our beautiful, messy, complicated glory as we ride the rollercoaster of life. When the friendships are real, and the bonds strong, we encourage rather than compete, championing each other to be the strongest, boldest, most unstoppable versions of ourselves as we blaze our trail through the world. We all need these people – our people – to feel as if we truly belong and it’s that sense of belonging fostered in our female friendships which makes them worthy of a celebration.
We can celebrate with lavish champagne brunches and nights on the town, or we can hand write a letter just to say we care. However we do it, the point is to acknowledge the friends who matter in our lives by reaching out, connecting, enjoying each other and unapologetically making our feelings known. Celebrating these emotionally rich friendships which are so essential to our wellbeing is something we should be doing loudly and lovingly, and Galentine’s Day is just the excuse we need to honour the women in our lives.
