FRIENDSHIP IS CONSTANT IN ALL OTHER THINGS SAVE IN THE OFFICE AND AFFAIRS OF LOVE
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
Sheila A. Grant
“Friend” is merely a word to young children. At the start of primary school, the little ones rush home full of news of their latest friends, names varying almost daily. Once they reach secondary school, the approach to friendship is more cautious and can be complex with shyer children. After seven years attending school and playing with the same group, suddenly they are in the midst of many strangers from different schools and areas of the town.
The true value of friendship grows parallel with maturity, sensitive to tiffs and bonds, a lesson and an experience of life and trust. Building friendships is exciting, with the opportunity to create special bonds that will grow into lifelong friendships. A learning curve.
I so appreciate, and am grateful to, the number of friends I have made over the years. A surprising number of friendships have continued for more than 70 years. Now in our 80s, we are still friends, those bonds remaining strong throughout many changes in our lives. The friendships have adapted without us even noticing. The topics of conversation are certainly wiser as our ‘nonsense’ days are now probably over, but not our sense of humour. We still relish the daft things we did as youngsters. Recently I received a very apt fridge magnet from one friend saying: You will always be my friend, you know too much!
My late mother held on to a book full of jokes, praise, memories and illustrations from her early friends; simple lighthearted memories that she often read again and again, recalling her friends from youth and reminiscing about the associated events. It’s rather sad that such books are no longer a thing, although, some events from the past are perhaps better not committed to the printed word!
A true friend is one who stands by you and lends support. Not having completed my Latin homework and knowing Miss Hurl was rather keen on wielding the belt, I rubbed chalk dust on my face before the lesson, faking sickness. My friend, ordered to accompany me to the staffroom, tried not to laugh when the teacher sat us down and made me a cup of tea. It was worth it to escape the belt! A friend in need is a friend indeed – that is friendship!
Recovering from an operation in hospital in my middle years, my most honest and direct friend arrived suitably dressed with apron, rubber gloves and carrying food for the family. She is the most consistently honest person I know, generous to a fault, and a friend who is always there in an emergency. Nothing holds her back and she has no side to her other than a genuine one.
My longest-standing friend lives in New Zealand. We’ve been pen pals for 74 years since her parents put an ad in The Scotsman looking for pen friends for their children. Letters and photos, news, and fragments of formal dresses have crisscrossed the world since 1950. Having met only a few times we are surprisingly close, never having lost touch. Now the correspondence has advanced to long intimate phone calls, sharing memories and news with as much ease as if we had been close neighbours. The distance has dissolved into a warm and close friendship.
We moved to another area for a few years but I remained linked to my friends, delighted to return to Kilmarnock, see my friends and revive the old routines.
As an enthusiastic writer, I frequently send what I suppose are fan letters to renowned writers, actors etc. in admiration of their work, saving the replies I was fortunate to receive. My granddaughters are fascinated by such letters.
Scotland is a friendly country and travelling around in my campervan I was often overcome by the friendly atmosphere at campsites. In the evenings, fellow campers would wander around and stop for a chat, discuss routes and recommend sites. Some would assist others who had a problem – frequently me! I was very grateful for the wonderful camaraderie, never feeling lonely or afraid because I was surrounded by friends.
I am proud to consider many people my friend, even though we are not especially close. We may not meet often but their presence has been appreciated at difficult times of sorrow or shock. They may send flowers, home baking, offer help or have that skill of speaking the right words at the right time. You don’t have to be on the Christmas card list to be a friend.
Now resident in the Highlands, I find Aviemore to be the friendliest of towns. It is a holiday destination that extends the warmth of friendship with enthusiasm. There is a slower pace of life here and the hand of friendship is extended from within the shops, people passing in the street, and an exceptional postman who delivers mail early but comes back later in the day with parcels, not wanting to ring the bell too early in the day!
Being in a new-build, my neighbours, like me, are starting a new life. Friendship appears to flourish across several age groups and nationalities. It must be the Highland air! When out with my dog, I came across a young man pushing his bike up a hill. Stopping to chat he immediately asked where I came from before telling me he was from Largs. He then launched into a long tale of his life until l told him I was late for a dental appointment!
“Would a hug be in order?” he asked.
What? Did I hear that correctly? Before I had time to react, I was wrapped in a bear hug! Would it be unfriendly of me to make a fuss? Probably, and it was too late anyway. With a wave of the hand and a big smile, he was off and away on his bike! As I said, Aviemore is a friendly town.
Christina Rossetti wrote ‘there is no friend like a sister’. I am still nostalgic remembering the day a very close friend compared our relationship to a sisterly one. We did enjoy a superb friendship with similar interests and sense of humour. I’m not sure who was the most surprised when we turned up at an event dressed in identical clothes! That friendship passed on to the following generations, despite the lack of blood links. The proverb that blood is thicker than water would appear to be inaccurate.
Previously, I lived in a quiet street where I passed time of day with the neighbours. I was the only customer at the fish van that arrived every Friday. Then Covid changed everything. Neighbours began to drift over to the fish van, enjoying the socially-distanced chat with enthusiasm. Friday mornings became the highlight of the week. Sitting in my driveway, wrapped in warm clothes and clutching coffee, we put the world to rights. Friendships were formed and we soon become known as The Fish Wives!
Of course, I have to mention Cleo, my affectionate Cocker Spaniel, best friend and companion. How would I ever have coped with Covid without my much loved dog?
Friends are found everywhere.
