BFRIEND
MAKING CONNECTIONS IN SOUTH AYRSHIRE
Gill Sherry
I first met Lorna Mitchell, Project Coordinator at South Ayrshire Befriending Project, in 2022. Since then the organisation has rebranded and changed its name to Bfriend, however, it remains the only stand-alone befriending project for children and young people in South Ayrshire and one of only a handful of Scottish organisations to hold the Excellence Award from Befriending Networks.
The charity provides a befriending service for young people who may be socially isolated, or who have social or emotional difficulties.
“Befriending and friendship are two different things,” Lorna begins. “Befriending is a service and we are governed by our policies and procedures but like friendships, it’s all about the connection. Young people today are limited in their connections. They’re counting people on-line as friends, or those they play video games with. There are really limited opportunities for meaningful connections for a lot of our young people.”
She tells me of one young lady who was referred to Bfriend 18 months ago.
“When she started with us, she couldn’t make eye contact, she was very shy. Now, after 18 months, she’s talking on camera about the project, happy to be in pictures, and she’s started college. She put all of the changes in her life down to her foster family and her befriender.”
This is just one of many successful befriending stories and also one which highlights the difference between befriending and friendship.
“The befriending has ended now,” Lorna explains. “Her befriender phoned me to say that the young person no longer needed befriending as things were going so well for her and their relationship was more like a friendship. So we stopped their befriending match, but they will continue to be part of each other’s lives. This is the power of a positive and meaningful connection.”
We all know how important it is to have friends in our lives, and how good those friends can make us feel. But not all young people are fortunate enough to have those relationships.
“Befriending shows our young people how to make connections. It’s all about the feel-good factor and knowing that somebody wants to spend time with you. We had a young boy who was in residential care and the only person in his life who was not paid to spend time with him was his befriender. When he found that out, you could see a little light in his eyes.”
It goes back to that human connection and building relationships, not just with those our own age but also those inter-generational bonds.
Bfriend supports young people aged 8-18 by matching them with volunteer befrienders aged 18 or over.
“Our oldest befriender is in her 70s,” Lorna tells me. “She saw the good that inter-generational relationships do for her and her grandchildren and wanted to give that to another child who didn’t have grandparents.”
Lorna rightly points out that not all of us are lucky enough to have a big family network with parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, so there’s a missing connection for some young people.
“Befriending is all about trust and the security that builds from having that trust. It’s how our young people can build their self-esteem and their confidence. Friends can make you feel like you can take on the world, and that is something a befriender can give to our young people once they’ve developed that connection.”
Volunteer befrienders at Bfriend, after a period of training and assessment, provide a one-to-one supportive friendship for a socially isolated young person who lives in South Ayrshire. This involves meeting on a fortnightly basis for a few hours and sharing activities and time together.
If you are interested in becoming a befriender, you can find more information on the website at www.bfriend.org.uk, or by emailing info@bfriend.org.uk.
